Change in Pace

Summer vacation is over and all of my children have returned to school this week. Wonderful, huh?? Wellll, not quite... For the past couple of years I have been running myself ragged doing the usual mommy stuff, generously volunteering time I don't have, studying full-time, working part-time internships, tripping over familial issues, and dealing with unauthorized usage from our personal bank account (theft). It's a miracle I'm still standing, let alone blogging about it!

When everything came crashing down on me earlier this year, I decided I was going to slow my pace down drastically. My family needs me to keep them grounded and if I am running around taking care of everyone else then my home falls apart. Giving up this part of my life is hard to do because I enjoy working on projects that make a difference in people's lives. There is a constant urge deep within me to learn more and do as much as possible before I can no longer physically keep up with the world. Living on this Earth is miracle in itself, not absorbing what you can is negligible in my eyes. Volunteer work provides me an opportunity to learn more about people given that I don't have many other venues to choose from (being a stay at mommy.)

Most of August I was able to keep my promise to my family; less time with others, more time for us. It was very enjoyable to come and go freely without the constraints of a schedule. We would sleep-in everyday due to our late night dinners. Each day we would decide what we were to do without rushing out the door to get from one point to the next. It was wonderful!! Last week got a little boring, but I sure had no complaints. *winks* (remember Jacob's dilemma?)

This school year my boys are spread out: one in junior high, the other in high school, with the eldest in college. My calendar filled up before the school year began; this week I find my self cramming in more things...uhgggg!!! Can I go back to August??? Numerous kinks in our new set of pace are starting to drive me nuts! Not to mention that I am now having to wake up at 5:30 a.m. because Joshua (my high schooler) decided he wanted to join the jazz band in addition to the marching band. Waking up at this rude hour is going to get some getting used to. {I prepare breakfast and lunch for my family every morning during the week.}

Sitting here blogging my woes, I remind myself why I do all the crazy things I do for my family. Darn it!! If Joshua is motivated and thrilled to enter this passage of time, then I am going to have to go to bed earlier!!

Motherhood is the most demanding volunteer work that anyone can participate in. Redirecting my energy to this worthy cause enables me to learn more about the world around me. Believe it or not! *wink* Each day my guys offer me a window to the outside world sharing their thoughts and experiences with me. De-cluttering my life from other worthy causes helps me to see things more objectively. In the process I see myself working more productively towards an enriching life. After all, that is what I hold most valuable; hopefully my children will learn that from me.