College Grad At Long Last!!

That's right!! I'm a college graduate after....{never mind} let's just say it's been a verrry long time. At nineteen, I became a mother, a single mom to a precious bundle of perfect joy. College was an option that I only took part in after graduating from high school, because late during senior year my friends were talking about which college they were heading off too. It was the thing to do, only that I was ill prepared for such an endeavor.

Growing up, my mother, also a single parent, worked very hard providing for us in the best way she could. There was very little thought that went into what we would do after we (my siblings and I) grew up. Sure we discussed what we might do for work once we were grown, but college was rarely discussed if at all. During my pregnancy with baby number one, my family asked what my plans were for our future. Geeeze, I dunno, go to work. One of my aunts who was living in Sacramento at the time offered me an opportunity to explore the world of advance learning.

With little options at hand I followed my aunt to California State University, Sacramento. There I studied for a year and a half and was curious about pursuing a degree in business administration or film. Sacramento was a looonng ways from everyone I knew, and I quickly found myself completely isolated on an island of confusion. As a young mother I could not understand why I felt so guilty leaving my infant at the daycare while I went to class. Nor could I grasp the resentment I felt for not being able to study and dig deeper into this new and exciting world {college}. At odds with myself I came to a crashing halt; withdrew from school and returned home to my mother.

Getting a job was far more important than furthering my education at that time. For a few years after my great departure from Sacramento I worked odd jobs here and there. Sometime later I met my husband and settled in a life with him. I worked for a small cosmetic company in the accounts payable department for some time until our family expanded with baby number two. Oddly enough we began having trouble keeping up with the expense of childcare for both our children, so I stopped working.

My husband and I eagerly wanted to purchase a home for our growing family and we decided that I would return to school to finish my education in order to find, not just a job, but a career to help boost our income. This was very appealing to me because this was an opportunity to acquire something I was longing for since my sad departure from Cal State. It was there where I discovered that I had something to offer this great world other than being a lump on a log. I had a brain for goodness sakes, and I wanted to exercise it and put it to good use.

As life would have it, I gave birth to yet a third precious creature a year after the purchase of our home. This time, I split my years between working and finishing my education. Hubby and I were at a loss after our sitter quit when Joshua (baby number two) was in kindergarten. At that time we had two of our kiddies with one sitter and the third with another sitter. The expense for the three was consuming about 90% of my meager wages. We decided that it would be far better financially if I just stayed home with the children. {long tears running down my face} It was such a difficult decision for me to make because I knew I had so much potential to advance at work. I had been working vigorously going to school part-time while advancing at my job. My goal was to enter into the level of management, so that I could climb the career ladder at the company that I was working at the time. This goal, I had aspired so much for, was within my reach and quickly taken away from me when one of my sitters quit. {large lump on my throat}

Don't get me wrong...I love being a mommy and the mysterious opportunity that was given to me to become an awesome SAHM. Some seven years later I managed to sneak off to school for two years to finish something from my educational goals, (Associate Degree or Bachelor Degree.) This past Spring Semester I was enrolled in my last required class for the completion of my Associate Degree in both the Arts and Science. Familial stress drew me to dropping this laaasst course.

Unfortunately my eldest had not always been the most enthusiastic student and had managed to be drawn into to the most undesirable of adolescent activities. Andrew (my first born) failed miserably during his senior year and I blamed myself mostly for not being available to him. So much of my focus had been given to my education; my eldest failed while I advanced. The stress from his failure - not graduating from high school, distracted me to the point of my failure with my educational goals.....or so I thought.

Last week when I retrieved my mail I found a large envelope from Pasadena City College. To my great surprise I was awarded both my Associate Degrees in the Arts and Science. {many units} Stunned and unwilling to believe what I was holding in my hands I went to see my transcripts online, and low and behold it was no mistake. Indeed, I was certified for both degrees!!!!! Finally after soooo many years of trying to be the best mom and student, I accomplished something great. My last course that I dropped earlier in the year was for transfer purposes and not required for graduation. Silly me, what was I thinking???? (Stress, that was what was consuming my thoughts.)

{I'm happy to say that my eldest is currently struggling to accomplish his educational goals - this, I say with the utmost love. Years of struggling with this child has brought us (child and mommy) to this very moment. The more he struggles to discipline himself with his studies at the local city college and learning to maneuver his way through the working world, the more I see him growing into a responsible adult developing his own ambitions and goals.}

I look forward into the horizon of my life where I see myself fulfilling all my long awaited dreams. Everything is possible as long as you hold on to your dreams and find a way to mold them into realities. There are no obstacles in life that can hold me for an eternity; they can only hold me briefly.

Hooray!!!! I am an official college graduate. Welllll, junior college is step one of two. ; ) Next step, bachelor degree!! Education has become my ambition in life. I want to learn as much as I can for as long as I can. It is my hope that my children will thirst for their life enrichment in a similar manner.