Postcard Greetings

Recently I was taken aback when someone mentioned that they were preparing for Christmas. I thought, estas loca? I know Halloween is right around the corner but Christmas? "Slow down amiga." Then I started to think about what I wanted to do this year for the holiday season.

While my sister and I were talking turkey, it dawned on me that I should try out sending postcards to my family instead of the full blown Christmas cards I used to send out. Being the crafty person that I am, I no longer have the time to devote to hand crafting 40 cards (I've done this twice). Yes, my boys are much older but, for some reason I seem to get busier as time goes on.

Everything I do now at days, is done with the utmost efficiency. I send out tweets whenever I need suggestions or referrals on projects I may be working on. Facebook has helped me to keep up with my loved ones who live too far to call (saving money) or to visit in real life (saving even more money). 

This year I plan on keeping green while sending postcards to all my regulars to save time and money! I haven't decided on a design but, the one I posted is a possibility.

One Foot In~One Foot Out

Do you remember dancing to the Hokey Pokey© as a child? I do. That is one of my all time childhood favorites, ❝You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out and, you shake it all about. You do the Hokey Pokey and you dance yourself around. That's what it's all about. Hokey Pokey!!...❞.

It's been nearly two weeks since my eldest has returned home from a bout with adulthood. He lived with three, sometimes five, other roommates just a few blocks down the street from us. Yes, he was very young to move out but also very legal. Legal enough to leave me helpless from finding a way to keep him home. After the cruel magic age of 18, there is no law protecting your right as parent to keep you're child from living on his own. You can only hope your authority will resonate in your child's ear when you strongly advice them to stay home. ((sigh))

I have to say, his eagerness to have his freedom in the world has been a good experience for my son. We never once gave him a penny, even when he was starving. However, he was very welcomed to come over to eat with us as often as he wanted to do so. At first, his hunger triggered visits were nearly everyday. They were often followed with a need for a clean place to shower too. It was great having him here because we missed him but, at the same time, I had to ask, "Mijo, do you live with us or with your roommates?"

After a few months, his visits became less frequent and with less need. We all adjusted and accepted to him living on his own. My youngest claimed his big brother's room leaving my middle child to spread himself out into his room. Believe me, they were not too sad to see their big brother leave, now that they no longer had to share a room with each other. Niños desconsiderados.

My big baby returned home not because he got homesick ☹ but, because he ran out of money. That is, all his roommates ran out of money and, little by little they started taking turns moving out. They also had a lot of complaints from their apartment manager. Apparently the boys took full advantage of a curfew free lifestyle.

Now that my 6'2" kid is back at home ☺, my grocery list has increased. He loves his momma's cooking!! Plus he's a ❊healthy eater❊. Unfortunately for him, our sleeping patterns don't coincide which has made it a wee difficult for us all. LOL!! He now actually begins to yawn at 10 pm. Sadly, he turned down his old room in favor of moving back out soon. I hope not too soon. I like having him home.

I ❤love you baby!!

Wordless Wednesday ~ He's Baaaaack

My 19 year old. Yup, he's a big baby.

Earlier this week, my eldest asked if he could return home b/c he was broke. Oh, my!! Hope he will adjust well with our not so party lifestyle schedule. Welcome home baby. We love you!! *Besos*

Dangerous machines or dangerous drivers?

Nearly a year and half ago, I received a phone call from a sherif asking if I was Antonio's wife. "Yes." Immediately the blood from my face drained and my breathing became constricted as I weakly asked, "Is he okay?" "Ma'am, he has been in an accident but yes, he is okay." *gulps* That was the phone call I had always dreaded for so many years.

My husband has had a love affair with motorcycles long before he had met me. Sure, they look nice and I like hearing the hum and roar of the engine but, I have never cared to see my husband on one of them. They are dangerous machines. Most drivers on the road miss seeing them because of their sleek size. Often I spot drivers who get too close to motorcyclists. Some even dare to try to block their path when they see a motorcycle zipping through the bumper to bumper traffic. The dangers of the road are similar to bicyclists. The general traffic fails to see them and respect their space.

This was not my husband's first spill from his bike- he has many scars to attest to my claim of their danger. He loves riding the darn thing so I just hold my breathe and try not to think about it. When he was younger, he drove for fun. Now that we are more mature, he drives his moto for practical reasons. It's his number one source of transportation to and from work. Tony works in the downtown area of Los Angeles- it's about eight miles from where we live but, the morning traffic is a killer. Drivers from our distance can easily spend anywhere from 30 to 40 minutes crawling to work in the morning and, even more time when there is an accident on the road. Tony zips right through that mess in 20 minutes on his bike. If we all had smaller vehicles or some type of bike (motorcycle, moped, bicycle...), we too would not waste so much time in traffic during the am & pm rush.

The dangerous machine.

As life would have it, my husband was tapped by a gruff and careless driver who apparently had forgotten he was not driving a bike himself. Unfortunately this happened at a construction site and there was gravel on the ground in the direction where the bike was bumped into. This sent my husband flying in one direction while his bike went in another hitting the back of a car. The owner of the SUV who was unlucky to receive my husband's bike, was far more concerned with the scratch on her *dear* vehicle. Never mind the fact that my husband was lying on the ground bleeding profusely from his hand. She never even asked if he was okay. Arggg!! Some people!!!

My concern is mostly about the lack of respect that all cyclists get on the road by drivers who feel they own the road. People! You need to share the road. Cyclists have the right to be on that road with you.

Perhaps it is something psychological in some drivers that makes them feel like someone is cutting in line. That someone, is taking a short cut while they are stuck at the back of the line. I am not a behavioralist so I don't know or understand why people forget about their humanity when it comes to cyclists. This is the reason why I had refused to have his motorcycle fixed all these months. I'm afraid of other drivers hurting him again or worse, causing his death one day.

Thankfully, all that had happened that day was nerve damage to one of his fingers. The specialists told him he would eventually notice permanent weakness on that hand and that it would get worse as time goes by. He may not have the strength or grip that he used to have but at least he still has his finger and his hand intact.

Granted, there are motorcyclist who forget they are not the only ones on the road. Driving safely on ANY type of vehicle is a Huge responsibility of the driver. Vehicles can and have killed people. All vehicles are potentially dangerous when we forget the safety of others while on the road.

I can't say this enough- Drivers, please remember to share the road with cyclists. It could mean the life or death of a fellow human being.

Wordless Wednesday ~ Marriage

Me, Dora, Cristian, y Tony

Felicitaciones Cristian y Dora!!

Last weekend we trekked out to Las Vegas to celebrate the love of a young couple from my husband's side of the family. The wedding ceremony reminded us so much of our big day many moons ago. It was a good day.

We all have choices in life.

~I've been doing some research over the past year~

My husband and me

Many years ago I read an article from a married man who described marriage as work. Work that he had come across to realize that he had a choice to keep at it or to quit. I wish I could remember where I read the article let alone the author's name.

When I first read it, it struck me as odd to think of marriage as a job and not a relationship. At the time, I had only been married for a couple of years. Yes, there were differences and obstacles but I couldn't imagine married life as work.

Over the past five years I have been looking inwardly into myself because I've been feeling the need to change the way my married life has been shaping itself into. My husband works all day yet, he has time for the things and people that matter the most to him. He's a hard worker. A family man. One to depend on. The sweet one. Every woman loves my husband because of those traits. Ideal? Sure, until you marry someone like my husband and realize one day, you are not on the top of his list.

Ten years ago I made the decision to accept staying home for my children and I have never regretted that opportunity. Now that my boys are in their teens and are developing a life that is their own (my eldest has already done this), I find myself in need to find the next part of my life. I want to return to work. A little more than two years ago, I returned to school earning my A/A and A/S. The timing could not be worse for someone in my shoes. With the economy in such a low state, finding employment has been extremely difficult. No worries, I plan to take advantage of this time and return to school for my B/A next year in the fall.

Needless to say, I have had plenty of time to think about my decision to return to work. My husband doesn't care what I do -go to work or stay at home- so as long as he has a home cooked meal and a clean house to come home to. *rolls eyes* Not bad. He's so *supportive*. (((BIG SIGH))) *ROLLLLLLS EYES*

Of course it's wonderful to have such a choice but only if I had someone to share the rest of my life with. You see, we have not spent much time together for the most part of our marriage. (Remember, I'm married to a workaholic.) I love what I do. I love my life but it would be even better if I had someone to share it with. {Returning to work is not relevant, only symbolic.}

Last year we had a major blow-out. We tried counseling and have seriously considered a separation numerous times. I asked him for a divorce on three separate occasions. He wants it to work so, we've been spending more time together without the kids too. All parts of a decision to make it work because through it all we know we do love each other very much.

In this time I have asked divorced women I know personally, candidly, if they were happier now. They all have had different reasons for being divorced (no, not all were due to infidelity). Their marriages ranged from 10 to 15 years. (This is my 15th yr in my marriage.) The time span from their divorce to now also varied from 2 plus years.

I looked to them b/c I need to know what I really want. To start over again at nearly 40 or to keep working at my marriage? The consensus? All said yes and no to being happier now that they were divorced. ~frowns~ The answer was not easy to pull from them. They all were happier in the sense of the freedom they all had now that they were single again. Only a couple of them went off to find love with someone new. Were they happier with their new love? Not necessarily. They all advised me to keep working at saving my marriage. Not because my husband is so sweet. How ungrateful could I be? How dare I want more from my marriage? (All things I've heard from "happily married women".)

A few days ago when I had my nails done, I was overhearing a one person conversation. Immediately I recognized the loneliness in her tone when she was speaking to her boyfriend over the phone. Predictably she stopped in mid-sentence and accepted to end the one sided conversation. How many times have I've done that? Uffff!! Muchas veces. She expressed her desires to her nail techs of a story book happy ending lifestyle. Ay niña, si usted supieras.

I'm mostly a private person- LOL! Yes I blog but there is so much I never share. Look at me now- pouring my heart out. I let go of my guard and heard the best advice ever from my nail tech that evening at the salon. She said, keep working to save your marriage. The down-side of divorce is loneliness and you will miss the companionship. She shared a lot with me and I am very grateful for it. As for  the other divorced women I have spoken to over the past year- they too shared with me a bit of regret.

Why have I disappeared from my home today? Why have I decided to share this story in such a public manner? My husband and I don't want the same things in life. I've decided to stay in my marriage but I'm not a prisoner. I love to blog as much as I love my family. It's part of who I am. If he doesn't like it, then I will find a space where I can pour out my heart without disturbing his ego. La casa? Que se espere hasta que estoy bien y lista. {Again, doing as I please is not relevant, it's simply symbolic.}

I've heard this before somewhere- you come to a crossroads only to find when make the decision to travel down one path, you find many more crossroads in every path you choose to take. I keep making decisions to cross in different directions. Through each path I take, I keep choosing to stay married. Marriage is definitely work. A job you sign-up for with free-will. A decision you make each day, each year, to make it last. Why? I'm not ready to let it go. It's that simple. Will he keep trying too? Probably not for much longer.

Our problems are very complicated and we both need to compromise or let go.

Wordless Wednesday ~ My Youngest J

My youngest J is no longer 12 years old. He had three types of cakes to celebrate his special day. The little brown cake was 100% vegan which my mostly dairy-free baby enjoyed the most.

Happy birthday baby!! We love YOU!!!

Focus

Just a few hours ago I took my boys to watch the Karate Kid. The movie still has the same beautiful story as the original without it being a carbon copy. One of the messages in the movie dug a little deep in me. It's a repeated motif in the movie- focus. Focus beyond what you see on the surface of people and situations.


It's something I have learned in yoga as well. These past few months I have lost that ability to focus. My wacky schedule has helped blurred what is important for me see. Last year I made a promise to my son (kid #2) that I would paint his room. Last week, kid #2 asked if he could have friends over to watch a dvd and promised he would keep his room door closed. Och! This was a nice reminder from my son that after nearly a whole year, he is still waiting for me to come through on that promise.


Have I ever mentioned how much I hate to paint rooms. Ugh!! Es el peor trabajo del mundo! My living room has been painted 3 1/2 times thus far and my kitchen twice. The kitchen took me a week to finish but that was easy because that room has less windows and molding. Granted, my son's room only has two windows, but the molding- es un montón de problemas!


No matter how much I'm dreading doing the work, a promise is a promise and I have let my son down. Sometime next week I plan to get that room done before this month ends. Thankfully my boys are *well trained* painters due to all the scout service projects they have done over the past three years. (It's our troop inside joke.) Seriously, they have done a great job painting the siding on the garage.


No more excuses, I need to keep my focus on what is important- my children's feelings. Just because they may not whine and complain about everything that bothers them doesn't mean they have nothing troubling them. By not fulfilling on that simple promise, I have neglected how my son feels about his room and what it means to him to get the job done. (It's long overdue for another paint job.) He has offered numerous times to do it himself, and I would always tell him no. This time, I am saying yes and we are going to get it done.


I will post an update when it's completed.


*The picture above was added after mijo's room was painted. Notice the big boo-boo? One of numerous reasons why I hate to paint my home.*