Time

When my children were younger I often found I had little time to do everything on my increasingly growing to do list. Often I would look forward to them growing up just enough for me to gain the time I so desperately needed.

My boys would spend most of their time out in the yard playing. They were very energetic so it was a blessing to have that space for them to romp around in. Tomatoes, roses, bulbs, and a variety of flowers crowned my backyard. The lawn on either end of my home was green and lush reflecting my children's youth and vigorous growth. Time however, was elusive: time to conquer my long to do list, time to finish repairs in our home, time to enjoy hubby, time to learn about myself.

As my boys grew I noticed that I had less and less time. It seemed like an oxymoron. Ideally you should have more time on your hands as your children grow and become more independent. At least, that's what I was told from other mothers. Hmmmmm. What happened here? True I could run to the grocery store and not worry about leaving my teenagers at home for an hour or so. After all, they could be tackling the household chores while I am away. So where is my time?

The yard that grew so prosperous is now bordered with wilting roses, weeds, and patches of dirt. Uhgggg. *rolls eyes* This too reflects my boys: lazy, naughty, and dirty. How can this be??? To be fair, my boys do help around but not to the standard that I hold myself up to.

Growing a little older, time has restructured itself oddly, leaving me in a similar position as I was once ago.Now at days when my boys are away at school or at work (my eldest works), I find myself with flexible time. Flexible but not quite enough to finish everything on my list. A lot of my time is devoted in helping my community via Parent Teacher Association and Boy Scouts. It is hard for me to turn down a good challenge. Tony, my husband, warns me not to over-commit but I cannot help myself. I love putting my nose into everything around me - it brings me closer to my boys.

Looking back through my years I can now see that time had pleasantly deceived me: my children have grown imperfectly perfect, my home's projects are pulling together, hubby and I have grown closer, and I have developed a deeper understanding about myself and this beautiful world. Time, is my flexible friend who had always been around, but I just never knew how to approach it and work with it until now.